Tag Archives: onionhead men

Actively Intelligent

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Here is a thought for today:  Since so much of what happens appears to be out of our control, the best thing to do is be actively intelligent in our own community, work and family.

It’s no surprise to me that there is so much conflict and narcissism in our world.  It takes a new kind of intelligence to get past both. Intelligence needs to come from the heart and mind working together.  Our hearts have over 40,000 neurons.  Those are the same cells that carry our mind intelligence.  Our hearts respond to what is happening throughout the day.  If we listen closely and feel for our heart intelligence, then we can begin to sense much more of what is happening around us.  That is true consciousness.  Our thoughts, words and actions then take on greater significance.

Would we really get so quickly angered when things to go “right”?  Would we be so busy figuring out what we want… instead of seeing what is needed right in plain sight?  Would we really stand for ignorance and crudeness in those who are in powerful positions?

I have been practicing being this kind of conscious.  I started by looking for role models and people around me who are actively intelligent.  To be honest, I have only found a few so far.  One of my partners is conscious every moment of the day.  I think she is conscious even when she is asleep!  When an animal, child or the elderly are in need, she never misses the opportunity to find a way to meet that need.

This week we were driving by a homeless man with a dog.  I looked and did not see the need to stop.  My partner saw different and had me stop.  She quickly assessed that the man had rescued the dog but did not have the funds to get him fixed and vaccinated.  She made the arrangements and gave him a little cash to buy himself and the dog a meal.  In that moment, his emotions and honesty showed that this man would take good care of his new companion.  My partner made sure that they got a good start.  That was active intelligence.  It wasn’t just handing him money.  It was solving a real need.  I’m grateful to my teachers in those moments.

~Lane

I’m Learning How to Live Lovingly

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For the next twelve or so weeks, we are going to be writing about topics addressed in Onionhead’s Keys & Codes to Living Good.  This new program has had an immediate and profound effect on my marriage.  My wife and I began working the program together.  After 20 weeks, we have found a more authentic way to grow and live together.

The Living Good Program begins with the Key of “Lovingly”. One sentence that means the most to me from the wisdom’s shared are: “love is the exact opposite of hurt, it is heart; it does not harm, it helps.”  It pains me to see people hurt the ones they love the most.  Why?  Are there fewer consequences?  More tolerance?  More compassion?

What I learned is that our own ignorance of how to live lovingly opens the door to quick judgment and criticism.  My “ah-ha” was working to understand the impact of being shamed and hurt by loved-ones.  I have some childhood memories that were not at all pleasant.  My mother baring her teeth and very angry at me because I had cut myself and bled on her white carpet.  My father who was my little league baseball coach angrily and publicly embarrassing me in a game.  I did not feel compassion or love in those moments.  My parents in their unconscious moments had hurt me.  It was at that early age where I had started to learn an inappropriate idea of how love could be expressed.

Later as a parent myself, I tried hard to be different… to be a loving parent.  While I know I was not perfect, I realized by working on this part of the Living Good Program that somehow a voice had developed in my heart that helped me to not repeat most of my parent’s mistakes.  As long as my head plays second string to my heart, I have a chance!

Teamwork – in sports

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Well, you see the ball cap on my head so you know I have a story related to sports.  When I was in high school I played basketball.  My sophomore and junior year I went to a small school where I was able to start and play a lot of minutes.  For my senior year I transferred to a larger school where the basketball team was really good.  I  worked very hard the whole summer hoping that I would start or at least get a chance to play a lot.  That was not the case and I found myself riding the pine the entire year.  This was hard to accept because I had always been a starter and this was my last year in school.

That year was a great life lesson.   At the beginning I felt a lot of disappointment that I would not start, but I still had hope that I would play a lot.  As the year wore on and it became clear that getting into a game would be a rare occasion,  I began to have negative feelings and resentment.  I also began to slack off at practice.  My thoughts were,  “what’s the point?  I’m never going to get to play anyway.”  All of my thoughts and actions were selfish.  It was all about me.  The “anti-team player”.  The team was winning games, and we had a chance to win the league championship.  I had an epiphany one day,  and accepted my role on the team.  I realized that the best thing I could do to support the team was to work as hard I could and be the best that I could be in practice.  If I did that then it would only make the starters better players.  I did everything I could to challenge and push the starters.  I also encouraged them and supported them when that was necessary.   I finally became a “team player”.  Another added bonus,  I had the best time of my life and our TEAM won the championship!

-Dylan

Teamwork… at work

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When I was younger teamwork was something that I equated to sports.  In high school I played football and basketball and I can recall my teammates and I all working together to achieve a common goal.  That common goal was always WINNING!  It had nothing to do with monetary compensation or getting our names in the school paper.  It was because we really wanted it and loved playing the game.

It is unfortunate to see how many professional athletes today lack heart and are all about the money.  Some seem to not care at all about their teammates or the fans.  Maybe somewhere down the line they lost that feeling that they had when they first started playing the game.  Surely there was a point in their lives when they played the game for the pure love of the sport rather than the paycheck.

Now when I think of “teamwork” I instantly think of my coworkers and my work environment.  I get that familiar feeling inside of me where I truly want to provide help where it is needed and to support my team (coworkers) when they require it.  I feel our teamwork really shines the brightest when we all have a universal objective to attain.  I think it is important to work together and create a positive team atmosphere.

Of course we are being paid to work, but the ability to work together as a cohesive group is what truly makes a great team!  I want to see my team succeed and I never want to see anyone fail.  When a team member fails, I fail.  It is important NOT to lose sight of our common goals and to always help out a team member when necessary.

-James

Teamwork: There is No “I” in Team

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There is no “I” in team. There are no successful teams where one individual tries to control, dominate or push their will on others.

All throughout my life I have experienced many kinds of teams — baseball, law enforcement, engineering, new ventures, consulting, marriage, parenting, community projects, and the list goes on and on.  In nearly every team, there has been conflict that was either conscious and direct or hidden and insidious.  Personally, I love it when the conflict is on the table, frank and directly dealt with.  It may not be comfortable, but at least it is honest and furthers the higher purpose of the team.  But, I hate it when team members backstab, undermine or create division.  This is a betrayal to the higher purpose of a team. It is evidenced in the greatest conflicts the world sees today.  It is destroying our world.

Let’s face it folks – men and women – teams fail when there is competition within the team.  Egos spar.  One person exerts their way over, or even at the cost of, the others.  Emotions fall and we feel like it is a burden to make any progress.  Belief in the bigger mission fails.  In fact, the mission is dead without dramatically changing something quickly.

There is one big hairy problem with teams: they are made up of all of us and we just can’t seem to get over ourselves.  More specifically, our egos want to serve only ourselves at any cost.  Our ego is so efficient at confusing the facts that we often can’t even see the truth.  We don’t understand how we are draining others, debilitating a mission, harming and destroying.  The truth is even though we are meant to be harmonious, joyful and loving, it is very hard to find a group of people that have achieved and held those ideals.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency.  Man is a social being.  Without interrelation with society he cannot realize his oneness.”  Teamwork is the only way to a better world and a better us.

Here is what I am doing to improve my teamwork:

  • Leave my ego at the door when entering teamwork — there is no “I” in team
  • Enlist my teammates to help me see where I fall — live the ideal of a shared mission
  • Study and choose how I can be better when I mess up — because I surely will and so will you
  • Really get to know the heart and essence of my teammates — feeling pain I cause gives me remorse and drive to do better; feeling joy in others at achieving something so much bigger together gives me greater joy than doing something alone.

Now I feel like having all of you join me in a circle, one hand in the center, and then together we shout “all for one and one for all!”

-Lane

Goodwill is Benevolence

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Goodwill is generally defined as being benevolent or doing good.  Goodwill to me equates to charitable causes like feeding starving children or giving aid to victims of tragedy.  Tragedy much like what mother nature unleashed on the poor people of Japan in the form of an earthquake/tsunami.  Whenever a disaster of this magnitude strikes, no matter who it happens to, we ALL should display acts of goodwill towards those suffering.  I am personally overwhelmed with empathetic sadness for these people.  It is a bitter sweet sadness because I become even more thankful for what I have.   I would want others to do for me what I would do for them.  It is our responsibility as Americans to help the less fortunate in times of need.  That is what makes our country so great and what makes me so proud to live here.

I believe that being kind and helpful to others is not just something to do occasionally, but it should be a way of life.

-James

Goodwill is Creating the World I Want to Live In

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When I get to witness how others feel when they receive an act of kindness, I am in awe at the power of that action. This is especially true when it is random or unexpected.

For me, I know the good in me trumps all the bad or heaviness that may be there when I think, speak and act in service or for another’s benefit.  I found a stray dog on the road last week.  Sophie was not familiar in the neighborhood and clearly a little lost.  It took a little coaxing, but she came to me and I got the number of Sophie’s home off her dog tag.  When the owners answered, they had not realized she got out.  I took Sophie back – just a few blocks away – and there was a very sweet reunion.  The family had just moved into the area.  It was so simple.  It was only a few moments of my day.  But others walked or drove by without thinking, without calling, and none took Sophie home.

Why don’t more people wake up and pay attention to what an animal, another person, a community, or our planet needs?  More importantly, why don’t more people speak and act to make things right?  With the number of natural and man-made disasters we are experiencing increasing, like the latest mega-quake in Japan where nuclear reactors are at risk of melting down, we ALL better get into action!  But, it is not just the mega-quakes that need our attention.

Every day now, I try to practice thoughts, words and actions of goodwill.  Less I be arrogant about it, I want to share with you that I am rarely the one selecting how my goodwill is applied.  Those needing my brand of goodwill show up in honest and open need.  They may or may not receive my kindness or benevolence, but that is not the point of goodwill.  I’ve learned not to expect one thing in return for the attention paid to others’ needs.  My reward has been heartfelt and loving acts returned or brought to me in my time of need.  I feel… I AM so grateful.  Goodwill is creating the world I want to live in.

-Lane

The Power of Our Will

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We often think of willpower pertaining to something physical or denying.

For me it relates to refraining from that extra scoop of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream or maybe even the second extra scoop of ice cream.  Rarely do I think to associate my willpower with kindness or consciousness.  Like so many others, I often forget to apply my willpower to what is really important.  It saddens me how much energy is focused on the “image” in this world.  Imagine, if we focused all of our willpower on compassion, kindness and love.

The power that lies within everyone one of us has the ability to change the world. Many of the most powerful human beings that ever lived were small in stature, but they all had indomitable wills.

-Dylan

Willpower is the Well to Draw From to Change Ourselves

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I’m experiencing change at a rate faster than ever before.  I’m pretty sure you are too.  For me, it is both exciting and at times stressful.  We’ve been writing about taking on the ego, being honorable and chivalry over the last couple of months.  I’m very clear that the kind of change we are writing about takes great discipline and determination.  But, I asked myself, what provides the steady flow of energy needed to maintain those virtues?  Willpower.

I used the Universal Truths cards (available from Onionhead) and pulled out the “willpower” card.  The messages that resonated with me were:

  • “Only WILL makes for change.  The more we are WILLing to unveil our fears, the more we discover the miracle of our full potential.” That one line answered my question in this article.
  • “Observe everything, study diligently and put that knowledge to greater use.”  I’m pragmatic and a get it done type, so this truth that our diligence in seeing, studying and then acting made a lot of sense.  Discipline and determination are the work to see, study and act.

Once the idea that willpower is the energy that keeps everything moving sunk in for me, determination and then the discipline needed every day to change had ignited.  This was a very good reminder and boost today!  The message I really love in this willpower card is “willpower is wellpower, connecting us to the Source.”  Everything flows from there.  And that Source is limitless!

Have a good WILL day!

-Lane

My Understanding of the 4 Steps to Achieving Victory

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Annihilate the Ego

I am taking ego here as meaning a feeling a superiority to others. Making everything into a competition, always needing to “win”, and holding it above others heads. If we can remove this feeling from everyday life we can better ourselves and ascend to a higher level. That is a true “win”.

Kill the Desires

To want something strongly opens the path for greed, which can become an unstoppable force of evil if it gets out of hand. The best way to combat greed is for us to realize: most things we want are not things we need.

Multiply the Devotion

At first I related devotion to religion and didn’t quite understand how it fit here. I thought about it for a while and now I believe it means more of a “commitment to some purpose”. This makes more sense to me by simply relating it to the other steps. If we are not committed in our endeavors, how can we expect to achieve true victory?

Make the Truth Clear

An enemy of the Knights, Deceit can turn any good deed into evil. I believe once one learns the other steps, they are embedded in you, remaining passive traits which affect your actions. Making the truth clear is an action we must constantly do and think about. Basing our actions on truth is essential to victory.

-Mike